Let Me Tell You About Homeownership

I’m here to tell you a little bit about homeownership.

You see, I’m a blogger…so I read approximately 50,000 other blogs. I’m just as obsessed with Pinterest as much as the next girl and I’ve been storming neighborhoods while looking in people’s windows since living on my own (not creepy, you do it too).

These bloggers, pinners and fellow homeowners make it look sooooo easy. “Oh, let me just show you this adorable white West Elm table that I sold my first born for.” Or even better, “check out this beautiful thrifted dresser that I bought for four cents and with a little bit of sanding and paint, it now looks like it belongs in a Pottery Barn catalog.”

U.G.H. with the adorable homes already.

Homeownership is not all that it’s cracked up to be.

While there are many times home ownership is positive (like sitting outside with our privacy fence and perfectly-sized deck, or having an actual place to put things because you suddenly find yourself with five different closets or goshdarnit feeling SO proud to OWN a home), I’m going to focus on the negative times, well, because it’s my blog and I’ll do it if I want to.

This is when homeownership sucks

  • When your living room has 20 ft. ceilings and you can’t afford to buy curtains for them (because let’s be honest, 20 ft. ceilings = thousands of dollars in window treatments). SO you follow the fine people over at Young House Love and their curtain tutorials seem simple enough. You’re trucking along just fine, putting up one panel at a time when BAM you realize you don’t have enough fabric. Shucks, but life goes on (remember, I didn’t major in math). You take your fabric information to the Hancock’s and order some more. You anxiously wait two weeks for the day the TRASH BAG DRAPES can come down. It finally arrives. You start to sweat. You have the fabric in your hands and notice that you think it might not be the right shade of navy. You start to sweat heavily. You get it home, put it up to the material you need it to match and this happens:

THAT IS NOT THE SAME COLOR NAVY.

NOT EVEN CLOSE!!!!!!!!

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Current drapes on the left. New fabric for drapes on the right. (excuse the dog hair)

  • When you are walking through a potential house to buy that you absolutely love and you can’t possibly find anything wrong with it and then the inspector points out that none of the windows have screens and you say, “oh that’s fine – we’ll figure it out eventually.” And then you experience your first 90 degree weather day (seriously, beautiful outside today) and reeeeeeally wish you had screens to crack open some windows. So you and partner in crime head over to your second home, Home Depot for the fifth time this week (remember, it’s Wednesday), and grab everything you’ll ever need to make screens. Screens? Got that shiz. Easy as pie. So you get home and realize, OH WAIT, THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE TO DO. Because according to our research, MOST (aka 99%) of windows, have a frame width of 5/16. And oh, Home Depot ONLY SELLS screen frames that are 5/16. Guess what? Our windows aren’t 5/16. I don’t know the precise size but I’d measure them to be between I-want-to-burn-this-house-down and I’m-ready-to-move-back-to-our-hellhole-apartment inches.

We have no screens. And it’s now a bazillion degrees inside our house sauna.

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This is proof that we don’t have screens. Hello, mosquitos. Come eat me while I sleep.

I swear to you, that EVERY SINGLE (E.V.E.R.Y.) project we’ve done for this house, hasn’t gone smoothly EXCEPT for painting the whole damn thing. And we thought that would be the hardest part.

Needless to say, we’re on the back porch (because it’s too hot to be inside) chugging a bottle of red and stuffing our faces with this.

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Thank you, Ree. You’ve done it again.

Please note that I am forever grateful for the home Kevin and I have and have worked so hard to get. We’re both just feeling really frustrated the past couple of weeks and we’re ready to be done with necessary projects for the time being. 😉

 

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